You, literally, sound like a moron.

I know we usually stick to DIY film distribution ranting and tales of questionable girls we have hooked with at Self Helpless screenings, but I felt the need to address an important issue in today's society for a moment: the rampant incorrect use of the word "literally".

In the hands of millions of strong sixes wearing Ugg boots and black American Apparel yoga pants and dudes with pet names for their abs, this once venerably direct adverb has become nothing more than a contorted synonym for "very".

Some standard misuses of "literally":

- "Oh my god, I literally killed my boyfriend last night." No, you buffoon, you would be in jail if you had literally killed your boyfriend. I believe you meant to say the opposite, that you had figuratively killed your boyfriend, probably by emptying his wallet and sucking off some college hockey player you met in a Chilli's parking lot.

- "It was, literally, like, 4:30 when I called her." There is no way for it to be figuratively 4:30. This is a time, not a fucking metaphor. You do not use literally here because the statement is literal as is. This is redundant and ignorant.

Literally is used, in it's most dynamic form, when it is clarifying the literal implications of a statement which might otherwise easily be mistaken for a metaphorical reference. An example of this type of correct use:

- "He passed to me with three seconds left on the clock and I, literally, dropped the ball. I was so angry." Get it? "Drop the ball" is an oft used metaphor for failing to take care of business in the clutch. In this case the subject did this in both the literal and figurative senses.

Next time you hear some empty headed goon or functionally retarded Britney-clone spewing something like "Oh my god, I literally love cucumbers," be sure to ask them to detail exactly how they consummate this love.

How to exxxttteeeeeeend our film's life?

Jon Reiss recently addressed an interesting topic on his blog. Jon's post was a response to an article by Brian Newman which you can see here. Basically, they are talking about rethinking the "life" of a film. Generally films put a ton of time, money, and energy into pre-release PR. The goal is to build as much buzz as possible so as to maximize the exposure of their release. After the release, that's it. The movie is out there and people buy it, watch it, download it, whatever. While Jon feels that pre-release PR is very important because this is what puts a film on the media map, he and Brian also suggest that filmmakers consider putting more into the post-release life of their films.

This rings true with us. A lot of people have given us the old line "You only get one release, that is your biggest chance for sales, don't take it lightly". The "release" is just a date. It is (in the case of Self Helpless, and lots of other micro-budget films) nothing more than the first day you can buy or download our movie. This idea of the release date as some sacred and pivotal moment seems to be a hold over from the old distributor-based distribution days. So what are some concrete actions that filmmakers can take to continue to grow their audience after they release their film?

The main idea that we have for post-release PR for Self Helpless is a demand based tour. A lot of filmmakers seem to be touring their movie in order to build an audience before their release. This didn't appeal to us. With no press, or stars, or giant youtube following, we found that it was incredibly difficult to manufacture an audience once we got away from our home zone. We still think that a screening tour would be a great way to build audiences and get a shit-ton of tail. We are going to use "demand it" to set up a post-release tour. If we can build an audience with our torrent release, then hopefully those folks will want to see Self Helpless in a theater and meet the assholes who made it.

What are some other ways that filmmakers can continue to build their audience after releasing their film? Are there things that we can do that don't cost a ton of money? Everyone would like to release an app and an online game and a graphic novel, but that just aint in the cards for us. We would love anyone's suggestions.

If you are interested in connecting with some folks who are pondering answers to similar indy distribution question, try searching #infdist on twitter.

Our Search for D.I.Y. Knowledge (w/links)

Has anyone else ever wanted to figure out how the hell to self distribute their film? It is funny to think of the days when we were googling "no budget comedy" in the hopes of finding someone else out there who we could talk to and learn from. There were plenty of eureka moments when one blog post or youtube video would completely change the way we were looking at distribution. Sound familiar?

Our torrent-only model is explicitly NOT the new great distribution model. It is a model that fits our movie in a lot of important ways. Once we actually put it into action, we hope to serve as an interesting case study for the indie community (read: real indie, like PB&J, sleeping on floors because all of the couches are full indie). I try to put as many of our ideas out there as I can, because I can remember when I would have killed to read about someone else's distribution model.

The other night I was geeking out on twitter (as usual) when I stumbled on a twitter conversation. A bunch of people that we have connected with in the indie community were discussing how to increase audiences for independent film. I believe you can still check out the "conversation" if you search for #infdist on twitter. This was the first time a lot of my fellow filmmakers got to hear about our torrent-only release model. It was cool to see everyone's reaction. It was particularly dope to get a lot of support from Jon Reiss. Jon is an experienced director who has been spearheading the new indie distribution movement. His book, Think Outside the Box Office, is required reading for anyone who is at any stage of creating an indie film. He even reposted some of our material on his blog. We studied a lot of stuff from guys like Jon Reiss, Chris Gore, Ted Hope, and a bunch of other people who have embraced the power of the D.I.Y. film movement. This research was the foundation of our distribution strategy.

We entered the indie film world just as a lot of the new ideas on D.I.Y. were being formally articulated. One of the best things that we did during the post production process was to cash in our social lives, dump our Chilean pseudo-girlfriends, and spend 4 cold months reading shit on the interwebs. This period of miserably monastic study allowed us to bypass the standard new indie filmmaker trap: fall in love with own film, blow meager P&A budget on unrealistic festival submissions, confront the reality of not getting a "deal", begin to learn about D.I.Y. distribution. We owe a ton to the folks in the indie community who have been willing to write blogs and books, speak on panels, and upload podcasts. Thanks to the wealth of knowledge that was available to us, we were able to move full force into D.I.Y. distribution as soon as Self Helpless was done. Hopefully everyone can learn from our experiences in the upcoming months. Thanks to everyone for the support. We got nothin' but love fo ya.

Pioneers, Oh Pioneers

Ted Hope is a very well know film producer (American Splendor, 21 Grams, Adventureland and about 60 other features). He is also a leader in the new media approach to indie filmmaking. This guy shoots 50 setups in a day, then gets home and writes a 1,500 word blog post, and blasts off on Twitter for an hour. His latest blog post really caught my eye as it relates directly to a lot of the inspirations behind Self Helpless. You should take a look at Ted's Blog here. I am re-posting my response below so that Self Helpless fans can have a look at it.

My response:

Wow, I can't believe someone is finally talking about this! This was a huge part of the motivation for creating Self Helpless. We are four guys in our twenties who are equally at home watching "Kisses" or "Lovely By Surprise" and "Caddyshack". And there are TONS of people like us out there. We have often discussed our dissatisfaction with indie films insistence on making heavy, emotional, esoteric films that are so steeped in art that they are rendered inaccessible. Films like that can be great, but there needs to be more diversity out there.

Self Helpless is definitely a low-brow comedy. It is full of guns and drugs and mexicans and farting. But there is also some really original stuff in there. The plot is absurdly twisted as are most of the characters. And, the movie feels completely indie! It has excessively long flashbacks, homegrown animation, and plenty of classically comical motifs.

I am not just trying to plug my movie. I really feel that there is room for people to start making more indie films that will appeal to a young audience. It is clear that internet basted, tech-reliant distribution is the future of indie. Young people are the most interweb-savvy customers out there. They are willing to go through twitter, and itunes, and blogger, and dig… just to follow, find, and support something they think is cool. “Trailer Park Boys, “Always Sunny”, “Flight of the Conchords”, the networks have it figured out, now we need to play catch up.

We have based our entire release model for Self Helpless on our faith in the young indie audience. We are running a seven day bittorrent-only release. We WANT people to download the movie because we know they will support it. This is how you access the young indie audience: young filmmakers make great films directed at their peers, they provide the fans free access to the films, and they create quality merchandise that people will want to buy (instead of begging for donations).

Who's on first?

Everyone likes to be able to claim to be the "first" to do something. Self Helpless is clearly not the first film to release a legal bittorrent; so what exactly are we the "first" to do?

I guess, technically, until someone else uses our model we are the "only" rather than the "first". Self Helpless is the only feature length comedy ever to employ a specialized promotional campaign surrounding a BitTorrent-only release. We are approaching our release in a way that has never been done. I want to be clear here, I am not hating on anyone else's release model. I am just trying to explain how ours is unique. I also encourage anyone who has an excess of time to hate on our model.

1) We are running a 7 day bittorrent-only release. Most movies that release a torrent try to have their movie on sale simultaneously. Their hope is that torrent downloads will drive DVD sales. We are going with a torrent-only run for a number of reasons. First, we feel that downloaders are the new taste makers. If your movie becomes popular within the torrent community this will translate to a wider audience. Hollywood films are often pre-screened for critics and important industry types. We are pre-screening Self Helpless for downloaders because they are our most important potential fans. Second, we want as many downloads as possible. Most films release on a pay to watch platform first so that the only way people can see the movie is by paying for it. We want as many people as possible to download Self Helpless, so that is the platform that people will have to access it on if they want to see the movie as soon as possible. Third, we have a point to prove. Lots of movies have dipped their toes in the torrent pool. They release torrents as a last ditch option, they use it to drive DVD sales, or as a publicity stunt. When you go with a torrent-only release, you are all in. If Self Helpless can become successful using a completely torrent based release, then this will demonstrate the validity of the torrent community as a major marketing force (if you aren't aware of this already then you have some catching up to do).

2) We are not asking anyone to donate anything. We do not feel comfortable begging people to give us money. We have made a movie that people are going to love. We believe that they will love it enough to want to buy a DVD or a t-shirt. And we will make sure that we create some sweet merch that will actually be worth buying. I didn't buy a Fade to Black on DVD because I thought I need to support Jay-Z financially, he is a fucking billionaire. I bought it because I love that movie and I want to be able to watch it on my TV, whenever I want, with all the special features.

3) The torrent release is our first choice. Even as we were writing the script, we discussed free playing an important role in the distribution of Self Helpless. We are downloaders, and we made this movie for downloaders. We skipped the whole cycle of "waste tons of money and energy on a film festival run, realize there are no more distribution deals out there, write lots of blog posts about how the industry is fucked up, resort to giving away the movie, cry often and heavily". Bittorrent is an amazing technology that allows us to get our movie seen by millions of people who just happen to be our exact target audience. As an entrepreneur, it would be nothing short of absurd not to consider a torrent release as an incredible opportunity. There is something completely different in the spirit of our release. This is not a last ditch effort. This is what we have always wanted to do with Self Helpless.

4) We are mounting a full on PR campaign to promote the release of our torrent. We are not just assuming that if we put the movie up on the ol' interwebs, it will suddenly grow wings and fly away. Studios spend money to create press and drive sales. We are spending money (and time) creating press to drive downloads. Studios spend money to stop downloaders. We are spending money (and time) trying to get as many people as possible to download Self Helpless.

5) We are not a documentary. Although there have certainly been other narrative features released on bittorrent, it is worth noting how differently they fair. From my limited experience, I can say that documentary filmmaking is extraordinarily tough. One advantage that you have if you have done your job well is cause-based support. If you do a film about climate change, or gang violence, or hunger you will get some support for your effort to expose a socially important issue. If you make a comedy about drugs, guns, mexicans, and milk-farts, you have to rely solely on the quality of your product. If Self Helpless doesn't make people laugh, they are not going to cut us any slack because they believe in our cause. This makes our model a heavy commitment. We are giving Self Helpless away and we are counting on the belief that people will love it.


We know that our torrent-only release model is a bit of a gamble. We are betting all our chips that Self Helpless is so original, and quirky, and over the top funny that we will be able to build a big enough fan base to cover our budget. Maybe it is risky, but there is nothing we would rather bet on than the quality of our movie.

Ramblings

Just sent this in an email (which may or may not make me clinically fucked), then realized it might make a good blog. I think it pretty much sums up where I am at:

"...My first feature film, Self Helpless, is done. I am broke. It is cold on the East Coast. All I want is the opportunity to work really goddamned hard. I am a great producer, I produced the shit out of Self Helpless for under $10K. I am currently applying for $9 an hour jobs, HOPING I can land a gig at UNO's. But it's all good, because my movie kicks ass. It is going to become a cult hit. It is gross, and subtle, and hilarious. And we have an insane, awesome, revolutionary distribution strategy. And, on top of all that, I am not a child soldier in Africa, or a rice farmer in Eastern China. So I try to remember that I am pretty lucky..."



I am unemployed, homeless, no girlfriend, no sundance, no SXSW, no distributor, NO MONEY AT ALL FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE

or

I have made a GREAT movie which everyone loves, i have dreamed up a GREAT distribution strategy, I know where my next meal is coming from, I am the most resourceful, motivated, semi-insane motherfucker I know.

I guess it just depends how I look at it.

TIME TO RELEASE!

Press releases are going out today. I wanted to make sure that our loyal blog followers would be the first to know. Here is the official announcement of Self Helpless’ upcoming release:

Self Helpless is the first feature length film ever to employ a specialized promotional campaign surrounding a BitTorrent-only release. In early 2010, Self Helpless will be released exclusively as a free download on various BitTorrent sites. After a 7 day BitTorrent-only run, the film will be commercially released on DVD, Blu-Ray, and High Definition Digital Download.

The Self Helpless torrent will be released on a number of major BitTorrent sites and (hopefully) some private BitTorrent communities. The torrent will include links to our facebook page, twitter feed, and our online store. This will allow people who download Self Helpless to connect with the movie and support it.

In an era when big studios spend massive amounts of money to keep people from downloading their movies, we are mounting a promotional campaign with the goal of getting as many people to download Self Helpless as possible.
The simple fact is that Self Helpless is a great movie. A torrent-only release will allow us to get our movie to the exact people we made it for. Selling DVDs and merchandise from our website will allow fans of the movie to support Self Helpless. From both a business and an artistic perspective, giving the movie away just makes sense.

We are playing with the idea of including two short advertisements in the torrent version of the movie. This would generate a small amount of revenue for us, and it would demonstrate a very viable way that studios can profit from marketing directly to downloaders (instead of wasting money trying to stop them).

If you dig our torrent-only release plan and you would like to know more about it, take a look at the FAQ post below.

Torrent-Only Release FAQ

Self Helpless is the first feature length film ever to employ a specialized promotional campaign surrounding a BitTorrent-only release. We have had a lot of questions since we announced this distribution plan. This should help clarify exactly what the hell we think we are doing.

How will you make money if you are giving the movie away?
We will be releasing Self Helpless on DVD and digital download one week after the torrent-only release. We will be selling t-shirts, posters, and other merchandise ASAP. We are also considering placing 2 short (10 second) advertisements in the torrent version of the movie. If enough people download the movie, we hope to set up a screening tour to visit places where Self Helpless is popular.

If someone has already downloaded the movie why would they buy your DVD?
A few reasons:
1) Movies are more fun to watch on a TV than a computer.
2) If people like a movie they often want to own the official, advertisement free version of it. Some people are just straight up collectors.
3) The DVD has tons of sweet extras like live Devin the Dude concert footage, slide shows, deleted scenes, and behind the scenes footage.
4) A few people will buy a DVD just to support something that they dig.


Are you going to have a donate thingy on your website?
As a group of intelligent, healthy young men, we just don’t feel right about begging people to donate to us. If you like Self Helpless then buy a copy. If you don’t have $15 for a DVD (been there) we will have some cheaper stuff like posters and stickers. If you don’t have any money then just tell a few of your friends about the movie and come see us when we come to your town.

You are the first feature film to launch a promotional campaign supporting a torrent-only release. Why not do something more normal, like submit to film festivals, or distributors?
We made this entire film out of pocket, fueled by raw hustle. We are not interested in sitting around for the next two years waiting for someone to decide that they want to “accept our submission”. That just doesn’t sit well with us. We have the technology to get Self Helpless seen by its target audience without any help from distributors or film festivals. We would be stupid not to release it on our own.

Ok, if you are going to release the movie as a torrent why not just release it on DVD at the same time?
We want as many people as possible to download the torrent version of the movie. If this version ends up containing advertisements then this will mean more exposure for our advertisers (anybody know anyone who works at High Times?). Even if we don’t end up going with the advertisement idea, it is important to us to release the movie exclusively on bit torrent. In a sense we hope that this will prove our model. If we can make a little money off a torrent-only release then we will have effectively proven the absurdity of anti-piracy efforts.


Are you hoping this will get you “discovered”?
Discovered as in money and hot babes start raining from the Los Angeles skies? I guess that would be cool. What we believe will really happen is that this distribution strategy will get Self Helpless seen, by the exact people who we made it for, and by LOTS of them.

Is this just a publicity stunt?
If we manage to get some publicity for creating a very innovative release strategy that would be great. That would probably even help our download numbers. The torrent-only release is simply the best way to get our movie seen by the people who we made it for. From a business standpoint, we would be crazy not to take advantage of this opportunity.


Where can I see the movie right now?
We are trying to set up a few screenings before the release. If you sign up for our email list we will let you know as soon as we get stuff scheduled. Other than that, you will be able to pre-order the DVD.

Why so long until the movie is released?
Lot’s of albums get their release date moved up because songs get leaked. We are delaying our release in order to promote it to those very downloaders. I know this sounds backwards. A typical movie release promo campaign takes between 3 and 5 months. We are constructing a full PR campaign to build a buzz around the release of the Self Helpless torrent. We figure, there is a lot of cool stuff out there to download. If we are going to convince people to check out our movie, we are going to have to spend some time letting them know about us.

What if someone leaks the movie?
That would be awesome. Next Question.

Are you trying to create the distribution model that will save my indie film?
No. Our model only works if you manage to create a feature length comedy that is hilarious and quirky, features the acting debut of Devin the Dude, is shot in 2 countries, and contains lots of drugs, guns and crazy Mexican gangsters, all with a budget of $9,500. Oh, and after that you have to edit the movie, compose the soundtrack, license the music, and do all the animation. Then you have to live on people’s floors for a few months, and shovel shit at my grandma’s farm while you save money to put towards your innovative release strategy. Then you have to be willing to work full time for very low pay for the next year after releasing the movie in order to continue to promote it. If you can do all this, and not have your wife/kids/friends completely hate you, then this model might be perfect for you. If not then you should read all of the blogs, and books, and tweets that are out there about indie film distribution. Then you should come up with a better, more original idea that works for your film.


I have a question about your distribution strategy, will you read my email?
I am chained to my computer at all times. I would be more than happy to answer any and all questions, comments, and hate mail.

Where The Idea Came From

We have published a number of articles about the upcoming release of Self Helpless as we have continued to update our distribution model. The indie film industry is changing at such a rapid pace right now that failure to adapt would be nothing short of suicide. A few major principles have stayed the same throughout the various shapes that our release strategy has taken:

- We do not get down with approval-based entities. Anything that requires submission for consideration (film festivals, distributors, certain online communities) will only be considered as an auxiliary component of our distribution. There will be absolutely no sitting around waiting to hear from someone who controls our future.

- Free is key. From the very beginning (like during the writing process) we had planned on giving the movie away for free. We have all downloaded stuff, and we have all supported artists that we really like. We know how that works, and we know that this is the future of art and media.

- Hustle is worth more than money. We are not interested in getting bought out by a distributor so that Self Helpless can collect dust on a back shelf at Coconuts in Methuen, MA. We would be honored to have the privilege of working our asses off distributing this movie by hand. When you have, literally, been shoveling shit for a living, working 60 hours a week hustling an independent film that you really care about doesn’t sound too bad.

- Innovation is our best friend. If what we are doing is unprecedented, then it has a chance of being great. We make it our business to read every goddamned blog, article, and tweet that circulates around the indie film industry. We learn from other people’s successes and struggles, and we adapt this information to form a new vision. If there was an established model that could work for everyone then we would follow it. Since there isn’t, we are working to create our own.


These are the basic tenets that we have developed over the last few months of crafting our distribution strategy. If you have read the torrent-only release FAQ (above) then you can probably see how these concepts ended up manifesting themselves in our current distribution model. Figuring out the stuff that we give a shit about was the hardest part. After that it was just a few months of working out how to apply those principles.

Boston - The Greatest Night of Our Lives

It is difficult to put into words exactly how awesome our Boston premiere was. First, the Brattle Theater could not possibly kick more ass. It is a classic one-screen cinema house. The screen is on a stage in front of a 235 seat theater with a balcony. The crowd was better than our wildest dreams. 200+ people came out of the woodwork to support Self Helpless! The theater ran out of beer within ten minutes, resulting in various trips to the liquor store. My rough count was 5 thirty racks, 4 bottles of wine, and 2 bottles of whiskey that were smuggled in to the theater. The crowd was unbelievably live, everyone laughed pretty much the entire time. That NEVER happens at movies. Apparently Self Helpless is really funny when you are completely gunned, who knew?

After the screening we did a solid Q&A (best question: "Are any of you currently carrying firearms?", so disappointed that I had to answer no), and headed over to Tommy Doyle's for the after party. I have to admit, after 15 months of busting our asses and living like broke hermits, it was pretty great to kick back and celebrate. We got to play rock stars for the evening. Everyone was so pumped on the movie that we couldn't walk across the bar without getting pounced on by roving groups of wide-eyed beautiful women. For someone who has been living in the woods shoveling shit and editing video for a year, this was an overwhelming experience. We proceeded to do exactly what our characters from Self Helpless would have done in that situation.

It was a once in a lifetime night. Celebrating with our friends and having them be proud of us and proud of Self Helpless was more than we could have ever asked for. The hot babes showing up were a nice plus too. Thank you to everyone for coming out and showing love. You made us remember how much fun it is to make people laugh.

Hartford Courant Article

Yet another GREAT article published in Hartford. This time it is the Courant showing love. Our screening on Friday at 9pm should be packed after all this good press! Much love to Art Cinema. That place rules. Porn and indie films, the perfect Self Helpless venue.

The link: http://tinyurl.com/yjlaqbk

Boston After Party

Good news, we just scheduled our after party for the Brattle Theater screening. We will be taking years off our lives at Tommy Doyle's on Harvard Square. This dope Irish pub is just a stone's throw from the theater. They have offered us their entire second floor zone to hurt our livers in. NO COVER with a Self Helpless ticket stub. Should be a great time that we will all regret on Friday morning.

Check out Tommy Doyle's here:
http://tinyurl.com/dhe2bd

Hartford Article

Great article on Self Helpless in the Hartford Advocate. Good to see Patrick Simone's home town showing love. Feel free to leave comments on the article at the bottom.

The link:
http://tinyurl.com/ygj4pud

Queens Film Fest recap

Whew! Just got home after the Queens International Film Festival. What a weekend. The festival was held at the Frank Sinatra School of the Arts, an incredible venue in Long Island City.

On Friday we scoped out some short films, then we met PK in Manhattan for the Bad Rabbit/Slick Rick/Goodie mob show at BB King's. Damn, Bad Rabbit (Boston) is the new band to watch. Anthony Hamilton meets Spank Rock. So fresh. Slick Rick was in classic form, backed up by Bad Rabbit, and Goodie Mob crushed, nuff said.

We woke up later than planned on Saturday morning and jetted over to the festival to watch some flicks and put up posters in inappropriate places (the ones in the urinals were a big hit). We saw a few really cool shorts. "You Will See Life" was made by two young babes from England; great actressing in that one. We also loved "Jenniffer and the Fish" and "Ice Breakers". Very unpretentionsly funny stuff. We stuck around for the world premiere of Buffalo Bushido. Wow. This is a feature length drama shot in Buffalo, NY. Very indie, very strong. Flawless acting, and highly engaging characters were the strong point of this film. Add in some dominant animation and this was easily the best film we saw at QIFF. I highly recommend it to everyone.

Our screening time was Sunday at 10am, so we had pretty much written it off as a private screening for ourselves and whatever crackheads we could pull in off the sidewalk. Much to our surprise, about 20 of our good friends from all over the city showed up to check us out. We were blown away, big thanks to everyone who fought through soul-crushing hangovers to show love. One guy that we had met at the opening night party even rode his bike out from Manhattan just to see the movie. Badass. Everyone really enjoyed the movie. Afterwords we all kicked it at the irish pub on the corner and caught up with friends and movie fans.

We met a bunch of cool people, and even got nominated for the Best Young Filmmaker award: http://queensfilmfestival.com/films/winners/2009/
We lost to a film that actually had some sort of socially redeeming value. What, milk-farts aren't award worthy? QIFF was a very cool festival, well organized and packed with cool movies. We hope to be back next year.

New Screening Scheduled at UVM

Thanks to the good shredders at the UVM Snowboard Team, Self Helpless will be screening at UVM next week. We will be in Billings Lecture Hall (aka CC Theater) on Wednesday, 10/28 at 7:30 pm. The movie will run until around 9 and we will do Q&A for a bit afterwords. After party has yet to be scheduled, but I am sure someone will let us buy them a keg. See you there!