Monday, February 22, 2010

Where We At

I smell hideous. I smell like couch sleeping and coffee-farts. Gross. I haven't seen a female ( aside) all week. I am currently chained to the computer, editing video to the point of mania. Our backlog of projects has gotten nearly unmanageable. Here is what we are slogging through right now:

Self Helpless release - I know it has been a while since you all came out and saw Self Helpless at your local (porn) theater. Well we are finally ready to release the film on bittorrent and DVD. It took us about 3 months to get the final cut of the movie finished, and get the DVD mastered. We have put some cool extras into the DVD including some exclusive Devin the Dude concert footage and the requisite deleted scenes. The bittorrent version of Self Helpless will be coming out one week before the DVD. This extra version of the film will take a couple of days to put together, but hopefully a lot of people will see it. If things work out we just might be throwing a little shindig to celebrate the DVD release. Keep an eye on the ole Twitter and Facebook over the next few weeks.

Devin the Dude's "What I Be On" Video - Yeah, we have jumped hard into the music video game. We were out in Houston for 5 days at the beginning of February shooting a lovely video for Devin's new album (dropping on 4/20). We are in the process of editing this masterpiece, and it should be released in the next few weeks.

Soul Khan's "SMD" Video - We shot this classic boom bap style video, along with a doc short about Fat Beats NYC, in January. The video should be done by the end of this month. The whole Brown Bag All Stars crew came out and represented for the video. Soul Khan put in 12 straight hours of work despite a 102 degree fever. Nuff said.

Professor David Veslocki - On the same NYC trip we shot a video for guitar virtuoso David Veslocki. It is definitely a departure from our usual fair (guns, cocaine, milk-farts and titties), but it was time to expand our horizons. Veslocki plays guitar like The Drake smokes weed, very fucking well. He blessed our score with a few lovely compositions so it was cool to return the flavor.

The Pilot - We are shopping a super double extra secret pilot (read: emailing the 3 people we know in Hollywood 5 or 6 times a day, which accomplishes very little since they all work in bars). If we run out of beer before the pilot sells then we will probably just shoot it ourselves out of boredom.

To everyone that has carried the Self Helpless flag o' this many months, we thank you. We won't let you down. You will actually be able to buy, download, and watch the movie very soon. And we will have more cool stuff to follow shortly thereafter. Thanks for all the support, you are all on the guest list.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

You, literally, sound like a moron.

I know we usually stick to DIY film distribution ranting and tales of questionable girls we have hooked with at Self Helpless screenings, but I felt the need to address an important issue in today's society for a moment: the rampant incorrect use of the word "literally".

In the hands of millions of strong sixes wearing Ugg boots and black American Apparel yoga pants and dudes with pet names for their abs, this once venerably direct adverb has become nothing more than a contorted synonym for "very".

Some standard misuses of "literally":

- "Oh my god, I literally killed my boyfriend last night." No, you buffoon, you would be in jail if you had literally killed your boyfriend. I believe you meant to say the opposite, that you had figuratively killed your boyfriend, probably by emptying his wallet and sucking off some college hockey player you met in a Chilli's parking lot.

- "It was, literally, like, 4:30 when I called her." There is no way for it to be figuratively 4:30. This is a time, not a fucking metaphor. You do not use literally here because the statement is literal as is. This is redundant and ignorant.

Literally is used, in it's most dynamic form, when it is clarifying the literal implications of a statement which might otherwise easily be mistaken for a metaphorical reference. An example of this type of correct use:

- "He passed to me with three seconds left on the clock and I, literally, dropped the ball. I was so angry." Get it? "Drop the ball" is an oft used metaphor for failing to take care of business in the clutch. In this case the subject did this in both the literal and figurative senses.

Next time you hear some empty headed goon or functionally retarded Britney-clone spewing something like "Oh my god, I literally love cucumbers," be sure to ask them to detail exactly how they consummate this love.